When I was much younger, I used to fantasize about writing my memoirs. I thought my lived experience growing up in a small town with unfettered access to the early internet of the 90s as a preteen was unique; real bestseller material. As we millennial women have matured and others have opened up about their lives on this not-so-different internet, I quickly realized it wasn’t unique at all, and I put those ideas of writing my teenage life story away. Now, my 20s and 30s? That’s a different story entirely.
As I head into my second year in Portugal and approach my 40th birthday, I’ve been feeling nostalgic for my years spent in NYC. My move to Portugal has been lonely and tough, and some days I think about returning to the US. Then I remember how hard those first years in New York were, and even though I sometimes feel like younger me was tougher and scrappier than I am now, I remind myself that if I made it through that and came out on the other side stronger and wiser, I can make it through this.
The more I reminisce about New York, the more I realize that my rose colored glasses were dividing that story into two: the first story was the one I told to my friends, family, and even myself, and the second story was the truth. So I’m taking off my rosy glasses, and taking a good, hard look at what really happened, the mistakes I made, and the person I became.
What follows will be the story of my move from my Midwestern hometown to New York City in 2013 and my eventual move to Lisbon, Portugal, in 2025. At times vulnerable, funny, and possibly even poignant, this story will not be a how-to but rather a deeper look into my past struggles and the life I’m building for myself.
This story will be serialized in its own section titled, How I Got Here. By dividing this story into a Substack section, I am allowing those who follow me for the art, zines, poems, etc to opt out of this more personal content. I’m linking the tutorial on how to opt out here. However, as I am compelled to write it, I do hope you will also feel compelled to read it. I think it’s going to be the most honest thing I’ve ever written.
Sarah, I am so excited to read this series!! I feel the duality of New York too--the narrative we tell everyone else and the truth. Really looking forward to getting acquainted with your version of the city I love 🩷😊
Looking forward reading your story. I love these kind of stories because I can really relate to them. I am on my 5th big move and I too want to write about it someday.